In the Scientific circles that we participate in, there is always the question of the validity of ones work. Looking back through the ages, many of the greatest scientific minds were not recognized until years, sometimes centuries, after their deaths. Obviously, one of the more famous Scientific discoveries most celebrated around the offices of WDA is that the earth is round and not flat. Had it been proven the other way around, it would not only make our work more dangerous, but we would be the butt of all jokes in the Scientific community.
A side project of our organization is to keep our eyes and ears to the younger scientific circles, looking for potential up and coming members of notable worth to the Science. It is our hope that if we find them while they are young, we can help groom them in the Sciences, and hopefully one day they will be of great value to our organization. To say that we are not doing this for selfish reasons would be wrong, but it is also to the Scientific community that we are doing a service to, as we also weed out the undesirables as well.
Jeffery Rose, Science Enthusist
Jeffery Rose, an accademic at Utah State University, is in our employ to seek out these young Science enthusists, as well as assist in discouraging those who should not be in the field of Science. He has been with the organization for several years, and is currently working in the recruiting office, reviewing the hundreds of thousands of applications and resumes that flood our mailboxes daily. Mr. Rose recently sent us several pictures from recent conventions pertaining to some potential candidates to bring on, once they have met all of our hiring standards. Please note, that no alterations have been made by us in the offices, and all are shown as they have arrived in our mailbox, with the addition of the WDA R&D logo in the corner:
The first potential youth is Jeremy Higgins. As you can see, he has an interest in tunnels, which is a great start in the Science.
Appearance: We like to see that Jeremy has safety first by wearing a pair of goggles, however, he has elected to let some of his hair in behind them. this can be a poor saftey measurement if his hair were to catch fire fighting the dangers of the deep. But please note his shirt; although he does loose points for no lab coat, he is sporting a “survivor” shirt, which demonstrates his ability to laugh in the face of trouble because it says that he is a survivor.
Scientific intruments: This is a category we are concerned with. It seems that Jeremy has created a mountain of some sort, a volcano if you will, that emits poop. We are not certain if this is a Scientific endeavor that needs exploration. That being said, the methods may be adaptable to the Tunnel Project to get rid of the excess dirt.
Oranizational/Marketing Skills: His 3-section Science board is the standard in modern displays of Science, and we are glad that he has elected to stay up to date with the times at such a young age, but his ability to capture our attention is limited at best. There doesn’t seem to be enough tape or tacks to keep all four corners of pictures attached, which just cries cutting corners. There doesn’t seem to be any visual citation to who the happy milkman is either, as we are certain that he is in our employ. Also, it seems that he is enjoying a nice cup of poop.
Hireable? We will be passing on Mr. Higgins for now, but we will be keeping our eyes on him.
Bryon Johnson, Southburry, CT
Bryon Johnson has made a facinating inquiry into the breeding habits of the moon – a rather ambitous endeavor.
Appearance: Bryon has everything going for him; pants – Check, Shirt – Check, Tie – Check. Unfortunately, he failed to pay attention to the little details on this day, as he is wearing someone elses name tag. Tisk Tisk, Bryon, we were rooting for you.
Scientific Method: He has been very thourough in his studies, and has covered most of his bases. He does not have a moon baby with him to put on display, which makes it questionable if his research is sound. There is a chance that it is made up, his photos could have been altered with the use of a computer. His use of mult-colored letters spelling out “Moon Babies” helps sell his hypothisis, and has earned him a few extra points.
Promotional Materials: None. There is no way that he will be able to get funding for further research without a colorful tri-fold pamphlet with pictures and a website listed. In fact, he doesn’t even have a business card to hand out. At least Jeremy had a cup of poop to offer.
Hireable? We will be holding on to his information for now, in case we have an opening in our R&D department for a 3rd shift lab tech. I do not believe that he will be elegible for field research.
Marcy Pasternack - Winston-Salem, NC
Marcy Pasternack was a last minute entry as her display was hidden in the back corner of the middle school gymnasium. It was her usage of the Border Principal that attracted Mr. Rose to her booth.
Appearance: Dressed conservatively, she lets people know that she is not important, but her research is. The self-assured smile lets the Science enthusist know that she is knowledgable about the topic, and its reenforced by her use a graphs – a true measure of how science works.
Scientific Method – As you can see, her display has covered all the bases, including photos. again, she will be marked down for her lack of a human foot included with her display. We assume that her foot would be available if she were to be questioned about it.
Promotional materials: Her youth and niativity is present in her display, though she does do better than Bryon has on this topic. obviously, she has some materials available, but she only has one copy of each. After we took our copies, she had nothing to show. This will be unfortunate if she is to be courted by others in the scientific community.
Hirable? Yes, we feel that she would be hirable right off the bat for a research position.
So there you go, our first in a series of applicant reviews. In the coming weeks, we will be announcing a list of job fairs that we will be attending. In the meantime, if you are a true Science Enthusist, please feel free to submit any research that you have done, making sure to follow all Science Fair standards, including the use of the 3-part Science board. We thank you with Vigilance.